“You are exactly the same person you used to be. You haven’t changed so much as a pair of socks in the years I’ve known you. If we’ve grown apart, then I’m the one who’s done the growing. And all I’ve done is changed jobs.”“And hairstyles and clothes and attitude and friends and…”
“That’s not fair, Rob. You know I couldn’t go to work with my hair all spiked. And I can afford to go out shopping more now. And I’ve met a couple of people I like over the last year or so. Which leaves attitude.”
“You’re tougher.”
“More confident, maybe.”
“Harder.”
“Less neurotic. Are you intending to stay the same for the rest of your life? Same friends, or lack of them? Same job? Same attitude?”
“I’m all right.”
“Yeah, you’re all right. But you’re not perfect, and you’re certainly not happy. So what happens if you get happy…? Should we split up then, because I’m used to you being miserable?”“All I’m saying is that… you have to allow for things happening to people, and you have to allow for things happening to people. Otherwise what’s the use?”
“No use.” I say it mock-meekly, but I am cowed – by her intelligence, and her ferocity, and the way she’s always right.
–High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
this is one of my favorite passages from the book. mostly because i feel that this conversation is straight out of a conversation between two parts of my brain. one part expects, accepts, anticipates, and even desires change while the other part dreads anything that rocks the boat of it’s own personal tranquility.
for my brain conversation, though, the changes are not changes in friends, clothes, lifestyle, and whatnot like the book conversation… it’s changes in the inside. emotional, theological, philosophical, relational issues… anything that rocks the boat of who i’ve become, what i’m becoming, and how i interact within my relationships. 9 times out of 10, the laura half wins out… but that rob half keeps up his grumbling even when he looses…
sorry… got into a bit of a ramble, there.
i’m curious what promted this particularly cryptic post, but i doubt i’ll ever find out. it was nonetheless thought-provoking for me… so thanks.
I am going to stalk Nick Hornby in London and get him to write a book about us.
amen.
(this may appear on my blog in some for or fashion)
And btw, I’ve been assembling a 101in1001 too!